Navigating Grief: Understanding Your Style, Supporting Others, and Listening to Your Body
Grief touches us all—but not in the same way. While the need to grieve is universal, how we move through that process can be incredibly personal. Some of us feel our emotions right away, deeply and fully. Others need more time, space, or even distraction before we can begin to process what we’re experiencing. Some reach out to a wide circle of friends; others turn inward. Understanding our unique grief style is one of the most compassionate things we can do for ourselves—and for those around us.
Discovering Your Grief Style
Your personal grieving style is often connected to how you process all kinds of change, not just loss. Are you introspective? Do you need to talk it out? Do you need physical comfort or time alone? These insights help you not only move through grief more gently but also communicate your needs more clearly to others. This makes you your own best ally—a friend who knows what’s needed, when, and how.
Here are some helpful reflection questions to get you started:
When I am in the midst of loss, I prefer to…
Process alone first, then with others.
Talk it out immediately with someone.
Avoid thinking about it for a while until I’m ready.
I’m not sure—still figuring that out.
I feel most comforted during change by…
Nesting at home with my favorite things.
Breaking routine and staying busy.
Surrounding myself with people who “get it.”
I’m still exploring what works for me.
Support looks like…
Shared presence—being with others.
Practical help with daily tasks.
Connection with someone who’s been through it.
Space and understanding when I need solitude.
This self-awareness is useful not only during major life losses but in the many smaller transitions we face—moving, changing jobs, aging, ending a chapter of life. Grief is part of change. Knowing your style helps you respond with care, instead of judgment.
The Art of Showing Up: Supporting Others Through Loss
Just as we grieve differently, we also offer and receive support in different ways—and it’s not always smooth or comfortable. When grief makes everything feel a little more tender, even the kindest gestures can miss the mark. Sometimes we don't know how to ask for help. Sometimes we're unsure how to offer it.
If you're trying to support someone through grief, consider these questions:
What does their loss stir in you?
Check in with yourself first. Supporting someone else might touch your own unresolved grief. Grounding yourself first allows you to show up more fully and without projection.What are your natural strengths?
You don’t have to do it all. Maybe you’re great at coordinating meals, handling logistics, or just sitting in silence. Start with what you’re good at—and willing to give—without draining your own resources.What do they actually need?
Ask simple, caring questions like:
“What would feel most supportive right now?” or
“Would you like some company or prefer space?”
These gentle asks can be more powerful than assumptions.What don’t they need?
Ask what kinds of help or conversation might not feel good to them right now. Creating a space for honesty builds trust and deepens your support.
In a culture that often prioritizes independence over interdependence, showing up in grief—either for yourself or someone else—is a radical, healing act. Grief is deeply human, and when we allow ourselves to be witnessed in it, we create space for genuine connection.
Grief Lives in the Body, Too
Finally, it’s important to remember that grief doesn’t just happen in our minds or hearts—it lives in our bodies. After a loss, our nervous systems can go into shutdown, stress hormones can surge, and tension can linger in our muscles for weeks or even years. Somatic psychology teaches us that if grief isn’t fully processed, it may show up later as fatigue, chronic pain, or mysterious physical symptoms.
If you’re feeling off—physically drained, foggy, tense—it might not be “random.” It might be grief trying to find its way through.
And there’s another side to this: grieving our own bodies. As we age, face illness or injury, or simply move through life, we may feel sadness around how our bodies change. This is valid grief. It’s a quiet, often unspoken form of loss—but it deserves our attention and care. Aging can stir up issues of self-worth, identity, and even mortality. Naming and validating those feelings helps us move through them with more grace.
In Closing
Grief is never easy. But when we understand our own needs, show up for others mindfully, and learn to listen to the messages our bodies send us, we start to move through it with more clarity and compassion.
Let’s keep learning how to support each other—and ourselves—through the full range of life’s changes, losses, and transformations. Whether you’re in the middle of something heavy, supporting someone who is, or just trying to understand yourself better, know that you’re not alone.
We’ll keep exploring this together.
With care,
Jessa and the team at YoJo