The Kindest Thing You Can Do for Others? Be Confident.

Confidence might not be what you’ve been taught to believe it is.

We often think of confidence as bold, brash, self-focused—even arrogant. But in truth, the kindest, most generous thing you can do for someone else is to be deeply, quietly confident. Not performative confidence. Not perfectionism. But a kind of inner steadiness that comes from knowing your worth, trusting your path, and showing up as your full self.

There’s a Tibetan concept called zija that captures this beautifully. It refers to a spiritual confidence—a grounded trust in your own being and in life’s unfolding. It isn’t loud. It doesn’t need to prove anything. When we cultivate zija, we become more ego-free, not less. More available to others. More resilient in the face of life’s curveballs.

And that’s the real gift of confidence:
It helps us be more available to others.
When we’re grounded in who we are, we can be more vulnerable, more generous, more honest. We take risks in relationships. We stop taking things personally. We listen better. We hold space. And most of all, we stop needing to shrink to make others comfortable—or expand ourselves to prove we belong.

Confidence Cannot Coexist with the Mask

One of the biggest blocks to authentic confidence? Masking.

Masking happens when we feel like we can’t fully be ourselves in a space—when we’re editing or contorting our identity just to fit in. It’s something many of us do unconsciously, especially those of us whose identities aren't always welcomed in the mainstream.

I remember when I was the only woman on a sales team. I shared so little of myself. I tried so hard to fit in. It drained me. It chipped away at my confidence. And maybe you’ve been there too—wearing a mask just to survive or be seen as “professional enough” in a world not designed for you.

The truth? Masking is exhausting. And it’s not fair.
It’s not fair that some people feel more pressure to hide parts of themselves. It’s not fair that certain identities are seen as the default while others have to fight for space. But while we can’t change every space, we can change where we spend our energy.

That’s why it’s so important to find your people. The ones who see you, get you, celebrate you. Whether it was joining groups for women in sales or attending Lesbians Who Tech, I made it my mission to find spaces where I didn’t have to mask. That decision made all the difference.

At YoJo, we believe confidence grows in community—in spaces where you can take the mask off, unbutton the top button, and take a deep breath.

Your Body as a Teacher: Confidence You Can Feel

As we wrap up this month’s reflection on confidence, I want to offer one final (and maybe surprising) invitation:
Let your body teach you confidence.

Because when confidence feels far away, your body might be the fastest way to bring it back.

Did you know that certain movements, breathing patterns, and even posture can change your hormone levels—lowering stress (cortisol) and increasing feelings of grounded strength (testosterone)? When those internal systems shift, you actually start to see the world differently.

Psychologist Dr. Amy Cuddy studied this and wrote the book Presence, where she explores how posture can impact mood, mindset, and performance. Her famous quote sums it up:

“Our bodies change our minds, and our minds can change our behavior, and our behavior can change our outcomes.”

You don’t have to wait for confidence to arrive—you can move into it.

That’s why we created our Stretch at Your Desk sessions. Yes, movement elevates mood. But we go further—teaching specific techniques to align your spine and center your energy in a way that actually sparks confidence.

Let It Be Easy

If you’ve been carrying the weight of not feeling confident, you’re not alone.
Trauma, loss, rejection—so much chips away at the confidence that’s our birthright. But this month, we hope we’ve helped you start to gently recover it.

Through mindfulness and the spiritual path of zija.
Through letting go of the mask and finding community.
Through breath, posture, and movement that bring the body on board.

Confidence doesn’t have to be loud.
It doesn’t have to be hard-earned.
It just has to be yours.

And we’re here to help you remember it.